My first child, Lauren started nursery at a kindergarten early this week. We confirmed the admission before we left for our month long Sydney holiday. So we had plenty of time to mentally prepare her.

You see, I’ve read countless blog posts on how emotionally draining it can get for parents when a child goes to preschool for the first time. And I’ve read even more articles on how to prepare the little ones who have yet to experience school or childcare centre of any kind.

I totally get how it can be a frightening experience for toddlers to watch their parents leave them in a strange new place with unfamiliar adults and many children of their own age.

The Experts’ Tips

Here are some of the tips that I had planned to follow to ease Lauren into the new routine and environment:

 – Most preschools allow the 3 days transition period. My intention was to stay in class with Lauren on the first day, stay on the second day but step away from the class every now and then, and drop her off by the third day.

 – I had been assuring Lauren that if I had to leave, I will definitely be back to pick her up at the end of the day. I was to be firm about having to leave but assure her that I will be back. 

– Do not attempt to ‘sneak away’ when a child is immersed in an activity with her class teacher. If she unexpectedly discover my absence, feelings of being abandoned may arise and she might panic and lose any trust she has built with the teachers. Future attempts to re-introduce her to the same environment may prove twice as hard as the previous memory of being left behind will resurface. 

– Build a positive rapport with the class teacher. By demonstrating that I have a good bond with the class teacher, my kid will be more inclined to trust this adult, too.

– Stay positive and calm! This is very important, as my child will pick up on my feelings.

But I was also totally ready for my clingy daughter to bawl her eyes out. I thought I would even teared a little about leaving my child on her own for the very first time in both our lives.

But none of that happened.

Lauren’s first day at kindy….

We were early on the first day. While I expected to see little children running everywhere and chaotic parents trying to calm their kids down, what greeted us was a calm and quiet drop off area. We sat and watched parents dropping their kids off one by one and none of the kids were crying. Instead, they greeted the teachers (in mandarin, no less!), got their temperature taken, sanitised their hands and sat quietly for everyone to arrive.

As for Lauren, she sat with us and when it was time to enter the classroom, she held on to my hands and asked me to come with her. I stayed with her on her first day, but the impatient me had also tested the second day method of stepping away from Lauren a few times.

She was fine. Did not noticed I went away.

More biscuits please!

On the second day, Nick took her to school. I had to take Georgia to her 18 months vaccination appointment at the clinic. About an hour and a half later, I received an sms from Nick saying he left Lauren at the kindergarten when she was preoccupied in class!

I had totally forgotten to inform the husband about the ‘no sneaking away’ rule! Now, our daughter is ruined! Scarred from the abandonment and would distrust us forever!

When Nick went to pick her up at the end of the day, I was ready to hear that she was crying and upset about him leaving her earlier. But when they got home, they were all smiles. Nick said Lauren did not cry at all.

The third day came and on the way to school, I told her once we get there, she will go to class with her friends and stay with the teachers. I will go home and pick her up at the end of the day.

She said okay. No hesitation. My baby is okay with me leaving her.

I felt a hint of disappointment that my baby didn’t need me as much as I thought. I consoled myself by thinking maybe she didn’t understand me.

We got to school. When it’s time to say goodbye, I told her, “You go to class by yourself and mummy will pick you up when school ends, okay?”

With a nod from her, she jumped off her chair and ran off to class! No bye-bye or kisses for dear old mummy.

I was proud and sad at the same time. Proud that my baby girl has grown up and confident to be on her own. But it also marked the end of mummy-daughter tied at the ankles stage of our lives.