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A Long Ass Post About Turning 36

MOTHERHOOD | 13 comments

So I turned 36 a couple days ago. How do I feel about being 36? It’s pretty much the same as the year before.

I feel that while I’ve grown wiser (I hope!) from year to year, I’m still the same little girl at 12 years old. Not mentally nor physically, but with the same values and aspirations for life. At times, I feel like I’m pretending to be an adult. That I’m still the same 12 year old and an impostor in a 36 years old body. I playing a role – that I’m supposed to be a certain way but what do I know for sure? Anyone has felt the same?

It’s funny that I feel more of a connection to my teenage self than to my twentyish-year-old self. After more than two decades of discovering and reinventing who I am, I find myself exactly at where I’d imagined myself at 36 when I was a little girl – married to a wonderful husband and having 2 kids.

I realised I’m extremely blessed to have a close knit family despite our distance geographically and a few very close friends, near and far. I know I can count on them when I need them.

Every year, I’m surprised that more than a hundred people wish me happy birthday via Facebook, Instagram and private messages. Granted, they get a reminder on Facebook but the very act of spending a few seconds to type a birthday message just for me, touch me tremendously.

Maybe because I’m terrible with birthdays and even with Facebook reminders, I mostly can’t be bothered to write a simple note. I’m terrible, I know. That’s why I’m convinced that people are going to stop sending me birthday wishes eventually. But they didn’t and for that, I’m humbled and honoured.

My 2015 in review

Last year I wrote about choosing the word ‘Quality’ as a defining word for the year. I think I’ve done pretty well.

I stuck to my rule of saying yes only when my gut says, “Hell yeah”. Because of that, I declined many events last year. I’ve also turned down many collaboration opportunities because of the same reason. Some brands or products are just not right for my readership. If I feel like I don’t have much to contribute to a topic, I’d said no too.

By saying ‘no’ more often, it has allowed me to spend most of my time with my family and on things that matter.

Last year was a year of discovery when it comes to my maternity concierge business and my blog. I think I have a clearer idea of who is reading the blog and what my clients need.

I didn’t spend a lot of time with friends last year, but when we did catch up, I had really good times. I’m glad I agreed to be one of my best friend’s bridesmaid at her wedding in Malaysia. I had the best of time just being there for her and seeing other friends that I’ve not met for a very long time.

It hasn’t been all rosy either. I had a fall-out with a friend last year. It still hurts. Falling out with a friend is just as painful as breaking up with a boyfriend; even though the only thing we had in common was memories from when we were in our twenties. I’m no longer the same person.

The experience taught me that some people don’t change and we are not in the position to try to change them. Being completely honest can hurt people and not everyone can handle the truth. I should have known better. Nick summed it up in a good way. The friendship was already dying. It’s just too bad that it ended the way it did. I wish her well.

My 2016

The biggest change in routine so far has to be the fact that Lauren has started preschool. My mornings aren’t free and easy anymore. I’m still trying to fit work and house errands in between dropping her off and picking her up.
Georgia has also grown into her own person. I’d like to spend more one on one time with her too.
As for my husband Nick, I’d like to have more date nights with him. We have so much to talk about but we are constantly being interrupted by the kids. Some alone time would do us good. I’m also not ruling out getting pregnant again this year!
For the blog and the baby planning business, I’ll continue to produce useful content and develop products/services that enable mothers to be their best, confident and fulfilled self. That’s my motto anyway. I haven’t figured it all out but if you have any ideas, drop me a line and we’ll chat!
I’d like to continue some of the habits I’ve picked up last year, like talking/texting my family in overseas more often. It’s could be just a simple hello, how are you and sometimes, it’s a photo of the girls doing something silly. But whatever it is, it makes us feel close to each other and keeps conversations going.
Looking ahead, I’d like my year to be productive and hereby declare my word for 2016: Progress.

What’s your defining word for this year?

PS: If you are not following me on Instagram, here’s a good reason to start now. In partnership with TONI&GUY, we are giving a follower a hair makeover worth $500. Head over to my account to find out more!

HELLO! I’M MICHELLE.



I love my family, building successful ventures and helping others achieve their dream motherhood. This blog combines those three loves.

Find out more about me here.
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